NUMBER TWO

fiona apple - covering the beatles' 'across the universe'

maybe you were expecting rufus wainwright's version of this song. i happen to really like it too - it's actually better than most of these other covers, but it makes no sense to rant about two covers of the same song in two different places when i can bore you all about it all right here. the big problem with rufus's version (other than the inexplicably long, chokingly-suffocating youtube load time) is that the otherwise beautifully done rene magritte-ish vid is tainted with that brat dakota fanning.

i could seriously go on for days about dakota fanning; about her pretension-laced flicks, her pretension-laced acting, her pretension-laced interviews, but it all comes down to this - she totally thinks she's better than everyone else. and the worst part is, she's probably right. she makes me wish i were dead.

plus the vid inevitably stars rufus wainwright, who i'm not particularly attracted to (yet). which brings me to my next point...

say what you want about fiona apple. anorexic?? maybe. ass-rapingly liberal?? possibly. but if she doesn't have your dong's attention beginning with that scene when her hair starts to come undone ('...images of broken light which dance before...'), you're fucking gay.



(actually, i think fiona's version is one of the best cover songs out there, to the point where it can stand alone as its own thing; its own plagiarized 'thing.' go ahead - attack my convictions. i'm prepared to defend myself.)

(...but i'm not prepared to defend anyone in the event that you're still not convinced about said chokery... what a weird legacy he has left us with.)